one.

hello all,

this is my first blog entry. i've missed xanga (before myspace and facebook), and being able to write about my life, and the thoughts that i keep inside. therefore, i'm going start writing here on a daily basis from now on. other than that useless introduction, life has been.... just about okay.

i hate college. i don't think i'm meant for school. i've been forcing myself to like pre-optometry/pre-med/pre-whatever you choose to call it, but it's just not me! my love and passion goes towards music, and i really want to live around it for the rest of my life. but the thing i'm most scared of is failure. failing to achieve my dreams, failing to succeed, failing to make my parents proud. i don't know what to do. time is passing by so fast. it feels like i graduated from high school yesterday. i've been spending some serious time thinking about what i want to do with my life, and it's hard. but i'm sure God will lead me to the right path. i know i'm meant for something, but right now, i just don't know what that is. i'm praying strong!

so, besides my little life crisis, today was a good day. the weather shifted so fast. it was so warm a couple days ago, and now i'm bundled up in my jacket, freezing my butt to class. but i like it. i love the autumn weather. it's my favorite season out of the whole year. just the whole scenery with the different colors on the leaves, the chilly breeze; it just gives me that warmth inside. i don't know, i can't explain it. and if you guys can't relate, then i probably just sounded like a cheesy paragraph from a love story.

i've been watching one tree hill for almost a few weeks now. i never watched it before, maybe a clip or two from tv, but that was about it. my friends always talk about it, so i decided to give it a shot. and now, unfortunately, i am an addict. i'm on season 4 already! talk about crazy. i think i have more motivation to watch a new episode, than to start reading my textbook. it's pretty good, but all the lovey dovey stuff in that show gets to my head, and that's not good. no wonder people always try to base their love lives off of movies and what not.

my best friend, jess (yeah, who would've thought we would have the same name?) is leaving for korea very soon. she's going off to teach english, and won't be back until july. i can't even celebrate her 21st with her! hopefully she can make it back in time to celebrate mine with me. but, she can buy me tons of gifts in korea to make up for it. (hehehe) i'm going to miss having her around. we've been through some crazy times together. but that girl has always been there for me when i needed her most. i love you, choboy! we're actually going on our first trip together. boston! i've always wanted to go up there, especially since senior year to visit berklee. and ever since the day i rejected harvard. (hahaha, not). we'll be spending the night there, so we'll have plenty of time to visit different colleges. we're looking forward to berklee, harvard, and mit! yay, exciting. haha, me and jess are seriously so stupid together sometimes. the other night, we randomly tried to name all 50 states. (it was her idea). i think we were in my room thinking of states for like.. 30 minutes, haha. we couldn't think of two for the longest times, so i ran to my other room and opened up the map, and found out the two states were: iowa and massachusetts. we kept talking about boston so much, that we thought it was a state, and forgot about massachusetts. we sound like losers, but i promise you, we are not. haha.



anyhow, that is the end of my first blog.
for now, i must go buy some starbucks to keep me warm.

also! i like to end my blogs with lyrics to some of my favorite songs. so, here is a part from jimmy eat world - softer. (listen to the song, if you haven't already!)


she's perfect in her own way.
smoke rings rising to the winter grey.
shining, stepping off a silver train.
she's amazing in her own way